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by Monika K. Moss-Gransberry
A powerful teacher in my life kept telling me I was not committed. Whenever he said it, I thought, "How am I not
committed?" I thought I was committed to my family, my marriage, my business, my spiritual development. But
he kept telling me I wasn't, and I knew if he's saying this, there was something I just wasn't getting. Finally I
responded, "If you say, I am not committed then maybe I don't know what commitment is."
He said, "Commitment is taking the step past the point of no return. Commitment is stepping into the darkness
without fear or the need for a guarantee. It is moving forward without question."
And as he spoke, I saw how the lack of commitment was actually a lack of faith --and it has kept me from being
successful at most of the things that I'd ever said I wanted. Acting, dancing, modeling, even, until recently, my
marriage. I'd move in the direction of what I wanted, but I always held back a little.
The thing that was keeping me from making that ultimate step boiled down to fear. Every time I got close to that
point of no return, I got scared that I would make a mistake, That I wouldn't do it right. (I hate to mess up!)
Rather than fail, I backed away and changed my mind, telling myself that I really didn't want that in the first
place. "I have the right to change my mind," I told myself defiantly. "I can choose something different."
Choices are important, but commitment is essential. It's what gives your dreams and visions substance and
longevity. Choices opens doors; commitment walks through them. It makes the difference between having all
that you dream of and never finding true happiness or peace of mind. Commitment is perhaps the best
regret-prevention. Because if you really work at something, you will certainly get something good out of it. Even
if what you end up with is not what you expected.
When you've envisioned your dreams and ideal lifestyle, then you have to ask yourself: Am I willing to do
whatever it takes to make this a reality? When it is lonely, when it is painful, will I keep at it? When everyone in
my world says it won't work? When I have set backs, will I still? What about when it requires me to face things
about myself that I haven't wanted to explore? Will I make that step into the darkness from which there is no
Those can be hard questions to sit with, but if you're trying to reach a goal, sit with them as long as necessary.
Can you make this commitment? If the answer is yes, then move to create the life you want and you will
prosper. If the answer is no, ask yourself why you don't feel able to make this commitment? Ask yourself, "If not
this, what am I willing to commit to?" And keep asking and exploring those issues and feelings that will surely
come up. You may uncover that little unnoticed thing inside that has been keeping you from your strongest
desires, from fulfilling your purpose on earth. And once you know, you can move forward into commitment and
This essay is from her forthcoming book "Life Mapping." Well - Medicine, Miracles and Inspirations for Living,
Summer 1999, No. 3.